Financial Abuse is Domestic Violence and it’s Widespread in Family Law Files

Financial abuse doesn’t end when the relationship ends. In many cases, it intensifies. In family law files, it often shows up through evasive financial disclosure, refusal to share responsibility for household and child related costs, and efforts to block a former partner’s financial autonomy. In reality, it’s not about finances at all. It’s about punishing the other person and making sure they can’t stand on their own.

Research examining the experiences of survivors who seek support for domestic violence has found that financial abuse is present in the vast majority of cases, with prevalence ranging from 76 to a shocking 99 percent. In the family law context, where parenting, housing, and legal decisions are on the line, this form of abuse is both common and deeply consequential.

Financial abuse doesn’t have one face. It can be subtle, manipulative, or overt and aggressive. Some behaviours are easy to identify; others are buried under legal processes or framed as “normal” financial disputes. But when you take a closer look, the patterns become impossible to ignore.

Yet despite how common and harmful it is, financial abuse can go unacknowledged in legal contexts, because it can resemble more typical post-separation financial disputes and may not be immediately seen as part of a broader pattern of coercive control. In complex files, it may also be overshadowed by more urgent issues, such as parenting time disputes, protection orders, or safety concerns involving children. However financial abuse has real consequences in the legal arena. A survivor may be unable to afford legal representation, expert reports, litigation support, or to respond to appeals or enforcement applications. In desperation, victims may accept grossly inadequate financial settlements simply to end the legal process or due to immediate need.

What Financial Abuse Looks Like in Practice

Theft and Financial Exploitation

Taking money from wallets, bank accounts, kids’ piggy banks, or joint funds without permission.
Convincing the victim to lend money and never repaying it.
Using the victim’s credit cards, running up debt, or damaging their credit score.
Forcing the victim to commit fraud, such as filing false tax returns or writing bad cheques.
Gambling with shared finances or pawning joint/personal property.
Stealing inheritance or selling off valuable items without consent.
Claiming reimbursement under a joint insurance plan for medical or dental expenses paid by the other parent, and keeping the funds instead of returning them.

Withholding and Denial of Access

Keeping financial accounts in their name only.
Refusing to share account information or passwords.
Changing access credentials to shared resources (e.g. online banking, loyalty programs).
Denying the victim access to money for basic needs like food, medicine, or transportation.
Giving the victim an “allowance” and demanding justification for every purchase.
Withholding child support or refusing to contribute to household expenses.

Employment and Economic Sabotage

Pressuring the victim to quit their job or threatening violence if they work.
Preventing the victim from attending training, interviews, or job-related events.
Harassing or stalking the victim at work to cause job loss.
Stealing car keys or creating logistical barriers to employment.
Forcing the victim to work in a family business without pay.
Interfering with education or professional advancement to limit future independence.

Coercive Economic Control

Making financial decisions without consultation or consent.
Demanding that the victim ask for money and report on how it’s spent.
Keeping the victim in the dark about household finances and debts.
Seizing pay cheques, benefits, support payments, or financial aid.
Refusing to pay shared bills, allowing the victim’s credit to be damaged.
Demanding receipts and change after purchases.
Blocking access to shared rewards or accumulated benefits (e.g. frequent flyer points, loyalty credits).
Making the victim feel as though they don’t have a right to know any details about money or household resources.

Legal and Procedural Manipulation

Withholds or delays financial support, often dragging out proceedings to avoid timely determination of support obligations.
Refuses to provide complete or accurate financial disclosure, leading to prolonged delays in securing property settlements or financial relief.
Maintains full access to family assets and financial records, while the victim has little or no access or information.
Resources for parenting are discorporate with one home under-resourced and the other maintaining financial advantage, which may impact the child’s experience and stability.

A Call for Recognition

Financial abuse is not a fringe issue. It is a central feature of many abusive relationships and needs to be recognized as such, especially in the family law system. Survivors navigating parenting plans, property division, or court proceedings are often doing so from a position of profound financial disadvantage, one that has been manufactured and maintained by the abusive party.

Acknowledging financial abuse for what it is means recognizing the pattern of power and control at play. It is a form of domestic violence, and like all forms of abuse, it has serious, long-term consequences for children and families that must be understood and addressed within family law files.